Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
