I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
