the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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