Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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