Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
