He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
