that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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