everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
