it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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