One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
