I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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