Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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