sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
