You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
