i don't like sucking hair
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize