So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
