Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
