I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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