he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
