You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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