VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
