It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
