I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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