Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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