is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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