So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
