playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
