I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
