he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
