I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm, like, this ðŸ¤ðŸ¼ close to buying crocs
And you're also ðŸ¤ðŸ¼ to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
