Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
