you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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