I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
