My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize