when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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