Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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