Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I deserve this hangover.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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