when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
