return my video game
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize