okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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