dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
