there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
