Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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