Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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