Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
