the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish you could order shots online.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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