So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
