I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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