I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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