she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
