I'm really into asian looking animals
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
