Im at strip club and am horny
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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