He told me they were just razor bumps!
you didnt know i had herpes?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
