My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize