Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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