Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
