the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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