I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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