Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
