Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize