How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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