he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
