i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
